Some things.

Ok, so I told Mink I would send him a PM, but whatever, it doesn't matter.

Just too let you guys know, first off this is really hard for me to open so much like I'm about to do, but I'm tired of not being able to talk to someone about it all. I get headaches everyday, I can't sleep at night, and I've been told many times that I'm changing or I've changed by some of the people on RSB. This has also been a thing that has been slowly coming ever since I was 10 years old, and it finally hit me hard after all these years. So what I'm about to tell you, I've never told anyone, not even my best friends. I've kept it hidden, and it means a lot to me being able to share all of this, since I don't know any of you in real life. I mean I haven't even told my friends...so here it goes.

My parents got divorced when I was about four, and then remarried not to long. My mom was the first to remarry and then my dad. At first I got a long with my step dad very well, as well with my step mom. But after my step mom had her first child with my dad she started turning on me and my sister. That's when I believe my dad started leaving us in the past. I mean my step mom was crazy, and still is. She tried to kill herself plenty of times, and I ALWAYS got in trouble for stupid stuff. Like if I forgot to do my bed in the morning before leaving to school, I would get yelled at. She would run off and tell my dad, who would then yell at me. Wtf? Yes, that happened.

So then during my 6th grade year it got worse. My sister at this point hated my step mom to death, as did I, and even worse our dad didn't seem to be there for us. So my sister got a horrible fight with my step mom, and my dad kicked her out of the house for good. So she moved in with my mom. I was never kicked out but by the end of my 6th grade year, I left them for good as well. I couldn't deal with it anymore and even though I knew I would miss my little brother, I just had to leave. So then that next year my mom switched me schools and I started going to MLK, a really horrible school. That school is just full of drugs, and gang members. I mean I was disappointed because I was leaving my friends since forever and now I had to go to this new year. So at first I was myself in front of this people, but no matter what I did, they hated me for no reason. At that school we had to share lockers because lack of space. I mean I had to share lockers with a guy who hated me. They always trashed my stuff, and ripped everything up. At this point I was pissed off so I started a fight and by the end of the day a group of them jumped me. I couldn't defend myself because there was too many. I came home that day and told my mom...she didn't seem to care. I continued to go to that school till for the end of the year. That's when I pretty much closed myself up. I didn't care anymore, about anything. I failed that whole year.

The next year I begged my mom to go back to my old school, so she allowed me. I saw my friends once again, but it did get better. I was called the emo kid because I kept myself so closed up. I was told I was negative, and well guess what, I didn't give a poo what they said. I knew it was true, but after what I've been through no thank you. I have to admit that a TEACHER, not my FRIENDS stepped up for me. She helped me through the whole year, and helped me pass. This is where teachers got stuck in their heads that I was a great student, and signed me up for honor classes for high school. I mean yeah there was some hard times in my 8th grade year, but it WAS the best year of my life, and it helped me through some rough times. That year I was told I was depressed and put on pills, but since I felt happy, I threw them out. I didn't think I was depressed.

At this point I didn't talk to my dad anymore, and they had just had a second child, my little sister. My dad was pretty out of my life, and my mom was going through my rough times with money and what not. My sister was being her usual self and ditched school a lot, got into a lot of trouble, so I told myself I wouldn't do that. Please...I turned into my sister. Second semester of 9th grade I totally fucked up. Really bad. I got into drugs, and it was drugs every day. It was party everyday for me. I mean I didn't care, my life was messed up and there was drugs. I ditched everyday of that semester and lied a lot. I would go hang out at my buddies house and we would sit around, watch tv, play games, eat, do drugs. I mean thats how my life was, and I thought it was great. There was lots of drug dealers and druggies at my school, so I thought why not join the crowd. Again I was put on depression pills again, but I threw them away...again.

Drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs...

I fucked up. I failed and lost all my honor classes. I only had 4 credits. So I quit. Before the end of my 8th grade year me and my friends said, "We're gonna graduate together!" Well guess what, I gave up on that deal hoping for my life to get better. My friends got mad, but I had to leave them. I switched schools, and now I barely talk to my friends. They pretty much hate me anyway, I mean there is a bunch of rumors about me. So it doesn't matter. I also hated my step dad by this point. He was annoying, and needed to get out of my life.

I was a mess by this year. I was going to a horrible school, for immigrants. I mean its full of hispanic people, but I only went there because the College is right next to it, and they have the best Film School in Colorado. I want to be a movie director so I felt it was the right choice, and it was. I finally made a good choice it my life. I mean I fucked up first semester by second I was back and taking 10 classes all day. I would get up at 6 in the morning be at school my 7, and get out of school by 8 at night. That was everyday. I was stressed out of my mind. I mean I thought I was at a loss, but here came this art teacher and handed me a piece of a paper and said draw. Draw what? I dont know, just draw. I've always loved drawing, so I drew. It may sound stupid, but that's how I got through the year. She would always have me on projects and I even ended up doing a mural for the school, but it was something to get me through my classes. I mean I am proud of myself for passing most of my classes. I failed only 2 classes and that may seem like OMG for some of you, but its something for my screw ups in the past. I decided I would stay there, and I am. I'm taking ten classes again. Thank god we don't get home work, because then I would quit.

So here's when things started to come down on me. May not seem like it but it did. My sister quit her job and was a lazy ass at home. It pissed me off, because I tried so hard to impress my mom. She was always yelling at me for not doing something and "sitting" around all day. So I would clean, my sister would make it dirty again. My mom at this point had already gotten a divorce not too long ago, we it was just the three of us. I really tired hard, but everyone in the house seemed in a horrible mood. I stopped receiving calls from my dad at this point, and I hadn't heard of my brother or sister in a like five months. I hadn't seen my family on my dads side, and I was/am sick and tired of my this family. I hate them. I don't like them, and they annoy me. When my dad does call he is asking about my sister who ran away what two weeks ago. I mean what about me? He doesn't even bother buying me a pair of shoes because he doesn't have money. I mean it may not sound like nothing to you guys, but to me its something big, and it affects me a lot. I pretty much have given up. I hate my life. School is the only thing I can feel good about, but I seem to screw up at some point. The only reason I have teachers as my "friends" is because they listen, and they help. That's what I like, I don't care. I don't have any friends at this school, I only have teachers.

The truth is, then came along this girl on the internet. On the INTERNET. She doesn't know it, but she has helped me. She may put her little question marks and avoid it, but you really have. Every time I talk to you its something good for me. That's why I love you. I mean I have so many good friends on the internet, and that is why I open up so much now. You guys are there for me, when I don't have any good people around me right now. I love everything about RSB, or the IRC, or even RS. I have friends on there. I go on the internet all the time because I look forward to something. But my life is at a loss, and now you all know why I've been like this lately. I hate my family, I hate my dad, I hate everything about my life. But I won't end it...

EDIT: Btw that "poo" thing that comes up when you say something is dumb -.-

All I can say is don't give up.

From what i have just read it seems like the only thing keeping you down in life is your understanding. I have felt the same way, my mom wouldnt take me out to even buy me a $3.00 meal at BK, and my dad was never around, I hated my family. The only thing i had to look forward to was School, and my friends. I was failing it school, I knew all of it and got 100% on all my school-work, but when it came to homework, I didnt do it. but back to you. Your dad doesn't buy you a pair of shoes for the exact reason you stated above, he doesnt have the money, if he had the money to buy you something he would, im 98% sure of it, as for your sister, well shes a sister if you try to talk to her the words will just go in one ear and out the other so ignore her. With your mother, she is an adult, she knows what its like to have a similar life to yours, try sitting her down one day after you have done your chores and cleaned up after ur sister, make sure she isnt busy, and tell her most of what you told us, dont tell her you hate her and ur family, but tell her you feel left out and feel depressed, im sure she might not believe you at first, but it'll kick in. I believe in kharma(yes its spelled right) and I believe that if you keep passing your classes and doing your stuff(without complaining to much) then your life will be completely worth it, i'll be the bum trying to get cash from u while you drive away in that Farrari Enzo.

like i said.. Don't Give up.. you always have ppl to look after you.. whether it be your parents or your friends or even us.. there is ALWAYS someone to share ur problems with

The thing is, my dad does have money. He refuses to buy me or my sister anything for the reason of not living with him. He just bought like 15 chickens and has a small farm...He does have money.

He knows my mom is doing bad and he still doesn't do anything to HELP US, as in his kids.

I don't feel the use of talking to my mom. Half of the time she ignores me anyway.

Hmmmm... well chickens are cool... does your father live very far away from you?

I don't know where he lives. He doesn't tell me.

Rios I wish I could be as open as you were in your first post.

Normally I would make a HUGE post on how Mink was right about not giving up, but my favorite/main account Bopedeba was Hacked & Permanantly Muted this morning.

I feel like trash right now and might have considered quitting earlier but now I'm going to get through all the problems and keep playing.

To make a long story short; it may sound fruity, but in a way you made me turn my thoughts around.

That hacker can feel cool, but I know he is a fat nerd loser on the inside just looking for laughs.

Thank You Rios for opening up. I feel alot better now that I know I'm not the only person attemting to forge through life with a hard problem dragging you down.

I feel very sorry for your situation and I wish you the best of luck with your dreams. Like Mink said: "Don't Give up.. you always have ppl to look after you.. whether it be your parents or your friends or even us.. there is ALWAYS someone to share ur problems with."

You always have something to lean on nomatter what, and nothing is impossible if you keep an open mind and a feeling of determination working twords you dream.





Good Luck Rios.

Wow Bop, wow.... Rios like I said in the earier post, no give up

Mink you are like a god or something. My dad magically called me today and said, "Whenever you want to come over to my house, just call me."

I was shocked, oh yes I was.

AWESOME RIOS!

Minkata wrote:Wow Bop, wow....

What?

I just got kicked out of my house. My mom can't support me, bye guys. I don't know when I'll be back.

The funny thing is, she legally cant kick u out till ur 18

No mink you don't understand. She can't SUPPORT me, I have to move in with my dad. She is broke...she hasn't closed any houses in months.

Oh. I'm sorry dude....

Dude, im sorry... look at the bright side, U get to find out where ur father lives ^^... ive gone through something similar.

Call me crazy, but I feel extremely sad every time I come to this thread.




Rios. Mink is right. **Cough!** (As usual.) **Cough!**

^^

I'm not moving in with my Dad and I already told him that. I'm moving in with my grandpa once he comes back from Spain in two days. I'll be far away from my family, because he lives really far away, and I'll be better off. I dont care where my dad lives...he only seems too pop up when things go wrong.

To me it seems like you loathe your dad, but hey thats none of my business. If YOU think you are better off with gramps, I support your decision 97.3% make sure to at least talk to your parents while you are away.

I do loathe my dad.

Don't give up! Just keep working hard and eventually you'll be able to go away to college and get away from your parents. After that, you'll get a good job and be living a good life and you won't have to give a crap about what your parents think.

Lol?

I disbelieve either of your thoughts, I personally believe that a positive relationship with someones parents make for a better future. it happened to me, I personally think it could happen to you.

Mink is right.